Can not dance for dear ego.

Brian Odah.

Today I did not go to my regular church since I moved to a different town.  Sermon: James 1:22 Something about how we are supposed to live and act our faith. Very nourishing(spiritually if you do not get it). It promised to be yet another good Sunday right untill my curiosity told me to follow the youth group after mass. You know a little chatting and getting to know a few more people never killed anyone. Atleast none that I know of, besides it seemed like a good idea there judging from how jovial they were. Been having a bad week sticking with happy people would be good for me.

So I am the newbie here and at first I keep to myself listening to their deliberations while going through Mwalimu Andrews article. It always kills it for me.  They want to go practise for some inter-church youth dance competion that would take place the next Saturday in Kisumu. It seems like a big deal to them got me thinking maybe some of them have never been to Kisumu or are they just fiercely competitive? I hoped it is for the fun of going to Kisumu but I soon came to realise it was the latter. Now I am almost finished with the article and I am trying as much as possible to hold my laughter inside just to maitain my decorum. I tell you those articles are dead funny. The Kids turn on the music in the hall, daddy Owens Kapungala. The girls scream so loud, the last time I heard someone scream that much was when I was a literally a groupie at the Joe concert. (A friend took me there after his girlfriend miffed him, I am not the kind to pass up such a chance. Story for some other time. -If I feel like it suckers!) Anyway from the peripheral of my eye I see this kid approaching me he is like 10 or so.

The lad walks straight to me and challenges me to a dance off. Yeah A freaking dance off. Let me point out something about my dancing abilities, they are non-existent. I am as stiff as Dunhams Jose Jalapino in every sense of the word.

As soon as he blurts out his challenge the screaming stops and there is an eerie silence. Everyone is looking at as all quiet it is like they know something. I could feel the other guys holding their breath waiting for my answer. Ordinarily I would have turned down the challenge but this kid had me right where he wanted. At the center of everyones attention and then there is the little matter of my stupid ego. There was no way I could walk out of this. Damned if I do damned if I don't so I decided to go down the barcelona way, honourably. Nachapa hesabu za haraka haraka, Kapungala is basically Lingala and I have watched a few Koffi Olomide and Zaiko videos never mind it was 14 years ago. If I could just remember the moves and link up with the beat kidogo I could train myself as I continue with the dance.

Oh oh bad bad move, forgot this is not engineering neither is it programming it is something you either got or you don't. In my naivety I accept the challenge and the "DJ" for the day restarts the music again. No sooner had Daddy Owen fineshed saying "Papa fololo" than I realised that I had got myself into elephant shit. This kid is jigging it like he got no bones. They called him Young Zion, gosh! everyone knows him in these parts and thats why they were so eagerly waiting for my reply. Here I am looking woeful still trying to link up old memories and turn them into a dancing routine. My mind is telling me to give in and let it go but my ego would have non of it. So desperately I try to shake my waist and a non existent ass to disastrous results. I myself can feel how mechanical I am and it must be absolutely clownish for people who are seeing it. Young Zion on the other hand steps it up and I think he gets into his zone, like a master he wipes the floor with my tired "old " self. Then a not so bright idea hits me. What if you continue doing what you are doing but lift one leg and do it much faster. Now I am on auto and I am not analysing my decisions, everything is being thought out by the heart and lots of emotion in it and I am getting angry. It is no longer funny after a whole minute of clowning around. I adopt my new strategy. Soon as I lift my leg gravity says nay and I hit the floor with a mighty thud. I can not feel the pain because the embarrassment is just too much to bare. The music is stopped and everyone rushes to my aid.

I refused to be assisted up. I just pulled myself up and that is when the pain settled. I would gladly exchange my bum for a less painfull one at the moment. I hurriedly grab my newspaper and storm out of the hall to go look for some ointment and most importantly to escape from those mean little devils. Behind me I leave a bunch of youth bursting their lungs with laughter. The next time I go to that church . . .  is next Sunday. I demand a rematch. Off to practise.

Brians formula.

I have gone through a lot in the recent past, and sometimes I would question God. I mean not question his existance or powers for that has never been in doubt, because I have witnessed other people experience miracles or as I would put it, happenings that can not be explained away. So my belief in God was always there, why God would put me in a six year downward spiral is what was bugging me. Everytime I went to church and the preacher said, there is a reason for everything I would just scoff at the idea because for all intent and purposes I did not see why there was so much instability in my family, academics,finances and relationships. I still do not get it very well but I began to see some positive.

My past failures and tribulations have made me even more focussed on who I want to be, my goals are much clearer now and I know for sure that I have what it takes to make it. I have handled situations I never thought I would be able to get through if you had asked me prior to the tribulations. I am more mature and have got better understanding for people who luck and heightened sense of empathy. In all this Brian is a more realistic human being and I am willing to accept it when things do not go my way and learnt to just let go and give up the need to be in control of every facet of mylife. Now I just enjoy the little things and as I make my way to the grander things I remember to pose and enjoy the journey. Laugh some more, play some more and for christs sake go out some more and work a little less visit family and try to watch a movie without skipping some scenes. I will listen to other peoples opinion because I too can be wrong.Most importantly everyone has something to offer and in Gods eyes we are all equal. I am sure that God loves me despite all the sins I have commited and has equipped me with the tools that I need to live a meaningful life.

Time/youth.
Health
Brains and wisdom
Patience
Vision
Integrity
Peace of mind
Good and bad past experiences
Amazing family and friends
Ability to feel other peoples emotions (Both joy and suffering)
To love and feel loved
Tones of luck, the one thing I would ask for three times it I was given three wishes.

The world certainly does not revolve around me and life goes on whether I am happy or not. I have therefore decided to make the source of my happiness the happiness I can bring in other peoples lives. I choose to forgive all who have wronged me and make it my mission to seek forgiveness from all those I have wronged.So if you have ever been in my life or will come into my life know that I am of peace and your happiness is my primary concern. If you have read this blog I besiech you to do the same. It could be a little bit tough for we are living in a cruel world but you could resolve that you will limit your actions that make others sad. Throwing that piece of gum on the streets instead of the litter bin will definitly make somebody else sad, either the pedestrian who will step on it or the council lady who has to sweep that street every morning. She does not have to deal with your litter the dust and tree leaves are already enough. Remember it is the small things that count.

I think they want me Dead, like Tupac Dead.

Maina Jenga call me the Prince.
Sunday:
It is election year again, and I know I am top shilling now. No wait; I mean top dollar now. Suck them as much as I can cause after the results are out; poof goes the lime light. Now how do I make myself relevant? I gotta catch their attention somehow. Druts! I can not think of anything smart enough. Oh well then I may as well go on doing my bishop thing I am sure something will come up.

Got my Sermon ready just call the driver and off to church we go. Got youth to preach to this morning. Good thing there isn't that much traffic today. Got to church in time and the boys are very jolly today that is good. This is definately a good sign, thank you Lord. I will join in Praise as I mentally go through my sermon. Trick is tokeep their attention on you at all times. Yeah that is it.

Okay praise is over time to hit the Mic, it is rock and roll baby the prince is in his Zone. Before I start let me scour the church for all of my close lieutenants and any sign of new comers. Lieutenants check, new guys uhhh none, okay no one. . . . ah wait. There is a new face right at the back close to the entrance. Let me call him forward.  "Naona tuna mgeni leo, hebu tumukari . . .", say what? Did I hear someone shout cop. Lord my past is haunting me making me here thi. . . Oh damn! He really is a cop and some of the boys recognise him. This aint going to end well. Crap they are comig down on him, now that is how you beat a police man. As much as I hate them I am sure this will get to the media and it will not stand well with the new image I am trying to project of myself. Dear me! there are others, something does not add up here. Let them get beat up just a little bit more, somebody ought to show them not to bring guns to my church. I saw some guys take their guns, crazy lot I lead here. Oh well they had it coming.

Monday:
Haw! Drama galore in church Yesterday. I liked it. Problem is that the cops are all over my back now. Let me call Muite I will need a good Lawyer now. I bet those cops at the church were up to no good. Maybe the big guy wants me dead, maybe not. I am sure Muite will find some way of spinning this whole saga to my advantage, told you something will come up. Now let me head to Kasarani police station make sure it goes on for long. I here the cops want me on some lame robbery with violence charge. Wow they sure did choose this one well; someone is planning to put me away for long. How sorry I am for them cause that will never happen, I did not do anything wrong. This must be because of that Limuru B 2 saga.
I see they have painted this place this days, not bad. Huh some of my followers milling around the station. That is reassuaring. Look at the welcoming party more officers, the media and my old buddy a good day getting better. Thank God my lawyer is here. Let us go direct to the OCS's office and record my statement behind closed doors, these media people can not be trusted not to report out of context. This guy has such a nice office even by top cop standards. That is none of my business anyway let me just sit here silently and let Muite do the talking.

This feels all too familiar.

Jesus! I have just been snowballed. What in hell just happened here? They are arresting us? Why I am not surprised, sure this comes from higher and definately someone wants me out of the picture this time round. Thank God for the media prescense here. Things could be much worse. I know robbery with violence will never stick they just have to find another excuse. I wonder where they are taking us now. Gosh I hope Muite is on top of this thing, he is a damn good lawyer and an even better rights activist. wherever they are taking me I hope I make bail. Aluta continua!

Hunter gets haunted.

European Envoy in Kenya.

I have never felt this inadequate since I lost my civil service job back home Those stupid lawmakers should never have limited the number of years a permanent secretary can stay on in the job. Now look what has happened to me. I have been sent to bloody Africa. Oh well it is better than nothing, thank God for friends in high places. Let me while my time here as I strategise my comeback to our motherland good old Europe.

This place really is not as bad as I expected it to be, for starters, I can with this; oh the sun. Just lovely. The house too is nice, better than that shell I have left in a freezer of a city. This is definitely good or at least not that bad. Now let me find out where the nearest golf course is, so I can find something to spend my country men's tax money on. First let me head for the consulate and and get to meet the folks there. I may as well do it sooner rather than later cause I do not know the first thing about diplomacy, the modalities or all that crappy protocol. I just hope there is nothing overly complex in it. I know it should not be too hard to learn the ropes around here. If that fool Whitebird was here for four years then I too can definitely make it.

This place is swell I just love the office, I wonder where one could get this kind of space in Europe. I wonder! Well this is it chap you are set for the next four years, plus you get to lord yourself over the local government just for kicks. Hahaha! Let me see what this is my secretary has just brought on my desk. Oh my diary. Okay. Whats for today? Things just keep on getting better here, scheduled for a visit to state house on the first day. Sure Whitebird was having his way around here he got a meeting though it was clear those were his last days in Kenya. Let me see what is in the agenda maybe I can get to push the president around a little bit. Uhmmm! Democracy, media freedom, gay rights, judicial reforms, agenda four, inform the president that our government will cut funding for the Sabaki water project cause of perceived malpractice, ICC, Somalia. Aahh finally something exciting is on this damn list.

My I hate that traffic, plus I have never seen so many people packed in a public service vehicle like in this country. They really should consider using buses instead, I doubt they can afford to build subways. Oh well good thing we are finally here. My oh my this place is so grand for a county with such a small GDP ppp. Not that I care it is up to them to manage their affairs how they please I am just here to represent my government petty issues as I make a pay cheque for myself. Oh bloody me, this is a first! They actually want as to wait. What could be keeping an African president so busy that a whole ambassador representing a country as great as hours has to be kept waiting? Oh well I might as well head for the lounge, I do not have much else to do today then we will head to that golf course my assistant showed me on our way here. Wow would you believe this, A queue at the lounge is this a shrinks waiting room or something. Maybe I am getting punked in statehouse itself. No this definitely is not a prank, there is my buddy from France. We were together at the Davos conference two years ago. I will wave at him. Oh it just hit me all these people are ambassadors. Okay let me see England,Belgium even the American guy is here what a coincidence.

My new friends are just awesome.

Holy cow! It is almost an hour and we are still seated here while I saw that Sudanese chap go straight through right after the Iranian high commissioner. Let me just hold my horses and wait a little longer. What now I thought Pitsburger from America would be next, that Chinese twirp just went straight through who the hell allows access to the president around here? I bet they are going to discuss how to build roads in the air,cities from scratch and more cheap loans. We are playing second fiddle here. I am beginning to feel that his Excellency does not really want to see us. The smirk on the Belgians face is an attests that he has been here long enough. Wow this are heady days, my country has lost its standing with this old mans government. To hell with this I am leaving.

Imanyara monologue.

A car breaks down along crescent road! You would be forgiven for thinking the many security personnel here would hassle them off to a place further away. But then again how do you "sweep out " a roadside breakdown. Poor chaps these lads let me slow down a bit maybe I could be of some help. It is still quite early I doubt they could be muggers, I wonder who would be stupid enough to mug people this close to state house.
 Boy are they happy to see me, look at them approach like bees to the nectar I say. Let me just stop and  see what their problem is. Oh! Oh! One of them has got a knife, damn this other one too. My oh my this is all too familiar, I am having the Thika road deja vu. What is it about me that attracts thugs? Oh Lord why me? Okay I know how to deal with this just keep calm, you have been here before man just give them what they want and they will leave. Good thing I installed that tracker in my car just in case they get too greedy.

Okay if they want me to get out of the car it is fine, just cooperate do not scare them or they will hurt you man. Just get out as they have ordered, switch off the engine fast. Okay now slow and easy just come out and show them both hands. This is a funny crop they have not asked me for anything yet, gosh maybe they want to assassinate me. Now this is bad. They want my gun, I do not even have a gun. How I wish I had one right now. I will just tell them that I am unarmed and let them frisk me. It will go well to reduce the tension here. Damn! Now who could have sent them? Lord my wife and two kids, they are goi ...
Ouch that was painful, what was that? Jesus he just slapped me with his knife. My left cheek is hurting so bad. Ouch! this guys are going to beat me senseless. Maybe I should run for dear life. They do not have guns so I guess I can just force my way through them and make for it. Oh damn he just grabbed my throat, I can't breath. They know my name! For sure this is political, maybe I should deny that I am Manyara. Ah the hell I will admit it if this is my last day then so be eat, they probably know it is me anyway.

What does this imbecile mean of course I know where Mt Kenya is. Let me answer in the affirmative and see where this goes maybe they are just a bunch of stupid tribalist  thieves they may let me off the hook if they find out I am Kikuyu assuming they are too. God please let them be Kikuyu too. Okay let me kneel down and face their freaking Mt Kenya if the is all they want this is becoming stupid. What? Pledge allegiance to that spoiled kid?

New Updates plus My girls.

We almost opened an academic expert account with Nick Njuki Yesterday. Boy do they take you on a Mary run! The page was too busy then so we decided to give it a try this morning I pray to God that it is successful because with it my fate will be back in my hands. Things are still awry financially but I have reason to believe that God is taking a special interest in me because I still do not know how I keep going.

Chelsea Won their home tie in the European Champions League Competition, I could say that is one happy point for me.  I am a bit worried though on the importance I put on Chelsea triumphs to boost my own personal happiness. I guess I do not have much else to be happy about I can only hope it is not a psychological condition.

I still have not got over my Ex girlfriend yet, my is it hard? I thought that by now I would have moved on but with each passing day I think more and more of her. I am surprised, maybe I was never really ready to let go despite all the red flags that pointed to a murky future. I think she is over it though, or at least I hope so. I still want her to be successful and happy, just that she was not the girl for me.

I have also significantly improved my Java skills and I am so happy about it, it is like I can feel the power of creating a functional peace of programme and the satisfaction of demystifying the seemingly awesome abilities of Charles Mutinda and Peter Bwire. With my knowledge in creating websites using HTML5 I know I can only get better at writing code in even more languages, understand even more complex functionalities and create simple to use powerful applications. Lately I have found myself admiring Anthony Waema. I think its because of Allan Njoroge's (Smokes) Influence. He keeps praising him like he is the smartest person who ever lived and has either figured out life or just hit a life jackpot. I admit he has done well for himself if it really is true that he lives in Karen.

These days I got to mention my self defeating thoughts have all but gone I feel like I am an all new person. This because I took two Internet IQ tests and scored 114 in one (I did not take that one seriously cause it overly simple and rather less strict) so in the second I scored 107 and the analysis was flattering. Said I am good discerning the flow of things and making patterns  and analysis which is good for sciences, Math and computer programming. That got me upbeat. I also got a good memory and I have enough in my cranium to help me make the decisions that will bring success to my life. I think knowing this in a way has helped me improve my Java much faster than I had set out to do.

I got to mention that I met this amazingly gorgeous lady,  like seriously beautiful girl, the kind that you see in glamor photo shoots or in catwalk isle in south America. She likes me. For some reason she thinks I am awesome and different from other guys how she came to that conclusion I still have no idea. At 25 she is the only girl who has ever called me handsome right to my face. Yeah I know, it got me too thinking "Damn girl you are so bold". Because most girls just blubber when I am talking to them.
My sister once tagged me a five so I always knew I was average, my ex Betty never really talked about my looks she used to praise my character more and probably the fact that I was an engineering student. Betty was my first real Girlfriend.  It lasted a year and a half.

Haile

Haile makes me feel like a nine, ha ha! She keeps going on and on about how I am good and Handsome.
Thing is I am not even leading this new girl  on neither I am seeking her, I just want to concentrate on fixing my finances for now. Monetizing my coding skills, rebuilding Gianni, Finishing my degree and through minimum living, max savings  hopefully I can make enough money to build Rentals in Awasi. It is a fast growing center and I believe by January I will be able to build nice cheap one bedrooms. About 20 of them. I have laid out a nice elaborate plan and God willing In January 2013 Odah will go into real estate.(Makiga). Then I will have three income streams, freelance programming, Gianni Wireless internet and other Lan Service especially the lottery smokes and I are building and finally the Sasala courts.
 I thought I should name it after Mercy Sasala a huge crash I had in high school. It lasted 3 yrs and for all those years I never flirted with another chick though in essence Mercy really was not my girl. I just liked her. I only got to vibe another girl in the latter stages of form three. Her name is Europe Njuguna,  She was smoking hot and atleast she responded to my letters in form four unlike Mercy who was kinda hot and cold for three years. I know it seems lame now that I have written it but that was it. Europe was always going to be a tough one from the start but her amazing beauty just kept beckoning. She eventually chose a rich guy who was way older than me,  I stood no chance. We were age mates, this guy was more mature and financially stable. Europe also had a Muslim background though she never wore their garb, and honestly she was always above my league then. She came from a rich family and had a taste for the finer things in life. I remember having just left form four and she chose Tipsy restaurant in Nakuru as our rendezvous. Pretty expensive place. She is doing well for herself now, I think she is married and she owns a car dealership. That is cool.

I always had control of my life (or so I thought) managed quite well to avoid the pitfalls that get other young people done for. I always thank God for the good things he has shown me and the challenges that he has allowed to come my way for they have made me stronger and smarter.

It is the 13th of Friday a day many people are superstitious but I am taking everything in a stride. All is well and I have this good feeling though deep inside I am worried about what the future holds for me. I know I am a smart guy and industrious too and if I combine the two well I will definitely make it big.

I am still hurting from my separation with my girlfriend, I still feel it was the right thing to do at the time. She made me feel happy and accepted but deep down I knew we would have problems in the future because she is too worldly. She lacked discipline especially towards her own mother made me wonder how she would treat mine.

REASONS COULD NOT STAY WITH MY EX.

She is lazy
she does not settle always in town meeting friends
she hangs out with the wrong kind of people
she drinks beer
bad sex, we rarely made out and would do things that made her climax and then leave me high.
can not cook
she likes to party in clubs.
Too many friends who are boys.
Going to facebook after sex.
Untidy.

REASONS I LIKED HER.
She never tried to make me someone I am not.
understanding.
I believe she was faithful
I did not have much money then and it did not seem to bother her.
She did not nag or pick stupid fights.
I think she just loved me for me.
 She is super beautiful and a body to die for.

I do not want to jump into another relationship immediately because I have to fix my life first, restart my business, improve my programming skills, and go back and get that engineering degree. Then perhaps I will pick one of the many girls who want me. The next one I get I will marry. All those milling around are good and would make good wives I presume but time will tell. 

My current state 11:57 am

I am trying to think where in the world will I get funding for my business Gianni solutions now that the conditions are right for it to start turning in a profit. I used up all my money trying to support if for more almost a year now. It is finally turning for the better and I have no cash to meet the overheads. Drats!
I just hope we clinched that web design deal cause I am dead if it does not go through. Ones is a wuss and Peter is ever so slow and hands off now it is up to me to fix this mess I got myself in and turn this business.
Wait for my next post and I will narrate how life went today.
Goals.
1.Practice more Java.
2. Finish the tutorials on Javascript
3. Try and get a solution for my cash crunch.

It has been long since I posted something but I'm gonna do this regularly now. I will be talking about whatever is in my mind. Let me talk out my dreams for my beloved country Kenya. I am so glad they finally came around to building that port in Lamu, that is huge if ask me. I just hope that Kenya did not mire itself in some lope sided deal that will tie us down with crazy payments for years.
Next wouldn't it be awesome if Konza actually became a reality just like it is being advertised without any underhand dealings. I know a tech city can grow anywhere if the government or some investor just decides it is super Internet speeds we are getting at manageable costs.